Paleo Bus Accident – The Wheels Fell Off…


December 26, 2012 – BREAKING NEWS!!

There are reports coming from all areas of the country regarding what seems to be a ‘bus accident epidemic’.  It appears that the wheels of a select fleet of ‘Paleo Buses’ have simply been ‘falling off’ over the past several weeks.  No fatalities have been reported, but there are reports of injuries…

It’s the day after Christmas and it’s fairly safe to say that a good lot of the ‘paleo bus fleet’ is, or has been cruising without wheels through this holiday season.  The past few weeks have been a fast and furious food frenzy – out of control.  And today you’re waking up realizing that your wheels have just completely fallen off (you can put down that cookie now…)  You’re starting to feel the bumper drag, the brakes are completely shot and turning this beast around seems all but impossible.  Right now you’re injured and feeling the aftermath of the gluten, sugar and alcohol crash that  last few weeks have been leading up to.

I received this email from one of my former clients – we’re going to call him ‘Russ’ (because that’s his name…).  Here’s what Russ had to say:

“OK, so you know that, not withstanding all your good efforts, counsel and expertise, there are massive numbers of non-celiacs like me who are f-ing up big time, temporarily ruining our health, but also loving these couple of weeks where the wheels just fly off the bus.  Why don’t you consider having some fun with it and seek input on how people feel off-Paleo? For instance, I feel like someone crammed oatmeal up my nose; I’m coughing like Doc Holiday and looking to use that $10 off card that came in the Victoria Secrets catalog yesterday for a training bra…”

-Roughed-Up Accident Victim Russ

Thanks to Russ, you’re all going to get a chance to sound off on the condition of your ‘bus wheels’.  Are they intact, loose, or completely missing?  Tell us how you feel, see how your fellow accident victims are holding up and maybe enjoy a little free entertainment.

Whatever you do – turn the bus around!  Wheels can be replaced but a brand new bus isn’t an option.  Take care of the one you’ve got and bring in the New Year ready to roll.

Categories: General, Paleo Diet Basics, Paleo/Low Carb, Uncategorized


Robb Wolf’s 30 Day Paleo Transformation

Have you heard about the Paleo diet and were curious about how to get started? Or maybe you’ve been trying Paleo for a while but have questions or aren’t sure what the right exercise program is for you? Or maybe you just want a 30-day meal plan and shopping list to make things easier? Then Robb Wolf’s 30 Day Paleo Transformation is for you.


  1. joe c says

    Yup fell completely off this month. :( but I’m NOT waiting until New Year’s to get back on track (don’t need no steenkin’ resolutions) and am getting back starting today. It’s easy to temporarily forget how much better I feel on Paleo (and how much better I sleep) when I hit my groove…

  2. Kimberlie says

    The wheels came off my bus about a week ago and I’ve felt terrible since. I have no idea why I would do this to myself because I feel bad even WHILE I’m eating, it’s like already feeling your hangover while you are still out at the bar partying. I’m so bloated my wedding ring wouldn’t come off for my lifting session this morning, I’m alternating between constipation and diarrhea, with lots of intermittent gas for good measure. My face is broken out and my energy levels are shot. When I eat like crap, I feel like crap. I’m starting clean today because now that I know how good my body can feel, I can’t stand to feel like this any longer.

  3. says

    My wheels are a little loose right now but not as bad as I was thinking. I will say that this is actually the best holiday season when it came to eating, I believe from starting this diet 6 months ago and just not having the normal cravings that I would have around the holidays.

  4. FredS says

    The wheels didn’t fall off, but they sure picked up a bunch of road hazard damage. It is easy to slip and grab “just one” cookie or whatever. Then it’s another, and another… And then I’m wondering why my gut has this weird feeling. One more family gathering lasting today and tomorrow. Got a 3 hour drive in which I’ll listen to Robb’s podcasts for motivation!

    Damage control parties man your battle stations!

  5. Brad says

    Congestion? Check. Joint pain check? Mild confusion check? The lingering feeling that I’ll realize I ate something worse than the jubilee role last night? Soon to be check.

    The kicker of all this was that each day for the last few weeks I had the best of intentions to continue eating as I normally do. Packed my meals for work. Convinced my wife that steak and kale was better than ordering out. But I just couldn’t turn away from the temptation that those gluten-bomb morsels taunted me with. The stuff is just everywhere. I’m looking forward to throwing away all of the junk food that has accumulated in my house over the last few weeks.

    Thanks for the post.


  6. Cireena says

    UGH! Serious Constipation, Skin Rashes and breakouts, Chronic morning congestion and Insomnia! Doesn’t that just sound attractive?! It’s really unbelievable that all of this can be caused by Gluten and Sugar, but that’s all that has changed over the past few weeks for me (Cookies, Cupcakes and a trip to Burger King).

  7. says

    My wheels fell off a bit, but consciously, at least. I made some okay decisions, some less-“worth-it” decisions, and I’m definitely feeling the effects like our buddy “Russ.” Great metaphor – I’m ready to get the bus up and rolling again!

  8. Tony says

    My body is ill. The only difference is that after doing things right for so long I know exactly what wrong feels like. I can’t believe that in the last week I have eaten so poorly, but what is even scarier is that it is how I have eaten the majority of my life. Every year after Christmas I have my paleo come to Jesus moment that gets be back on track. That moment is time now and it is badly needed.

  9. Jason says

    I’m happy to say that while I did enjoy some non-Paleo foods, this year could be considered a success when compared to years past. I little extra dairy and sugar, but remained gluten-free, which in its own right significantly reduced the amount of sugar I would normally indulge in. I am looking forward to my workout today and jump-starting my 2013!!!

  10. says

    I’ve been mostly okay but that’s largely thanks to a grilled chicken sandwich, with bread, about 5 weeks ago. That one sandwich turned into a massive celiac rash on my knees, ankles, and wrists and it’s STILL THERE five weeks later, although mostly as healing patches of red dry rough skin. The misery of the rash is providing plenty good motivation to avoid all the holiday treats.

  11. Robert says

    I went over the cliff sadly, fortunately I’ve got my rope and climbing shoes out and am slowly getting back up and over.

  12. Jason says

    I managed to exercise some restraint at the holiday meals but I’m still feeling the wrath of my grandma’s homemade chocolates and bean soup. It’s not pretty to say the least, but I’m back home today and managed to start the day with a delicious paleo meal of bacon and eggs.

  13. Amy says

    Shoooot, I can’t even FIND the bus I’m so far off of it! Lesson learned, “just one” is a bad, bad idea!! Starting Robb’s Paleologix when it comes out though, excited for that.

  14. Jan says

    If I was aiming to meet an 80-20 plan for the year I would say I used up most of the 20% in the last few days. That said, I had scrambled eggs and coffee for breakfast this morning as I crawled back up on the wagon and am NOT feeling bad about resuming a Paleo/Primal eating style. Of note… hemorrhoid flare-up and a day of belly pain after an especially egregious outing with SAD holiday fare. I had missed both of those in the past year. Looking forward to missing them again.

  15. Cate says

    I did ok except for some concentrated sugar-bomb eating session which has made me break out. Actually ending the season with the scale lower than when it started… first time I can remember. Credit to all these paleo blogs/podcasts for motivation.

  16. Steve says

    I am very happy to say that I knowingly with malice aforethought ate cookies, cake and bread. The results were pretty much as expected.

    I am thrilled that it only caused me a little bloat, and that will be coming right off.

    This means that I’m not trapped into never being able to enjoy my favorite treats, it just means that I’m reminded that they’re TREATS not food. I’ll eat them again next year too.

    But not before.

    • Steve says

      Come to think of it, the wheels didn’t come off the bus. I took the bus offroading.

      Which, in retrospect, might not have been the brightest move available…

      • Sara says

        Well said!

        I did the same–knowingly went off plan (although, it was HARDCORE off plan) at the beginning of the month, but I feel like I was able to “get it out of my system” then. Courtesy of a cookie exchange (to which I brought sugary, but gluten-free treats that were nowhere near as delicious as my wheat-flour-containing chocolate brownie cookies), and despite giving most of my haul away, I binge-ate my way through a ton of not-so-ideal snacks for the first week of December. Now, dinner rolls, most sweets, and (surprisingly) alcohol are sort of “meh” to me. Sure, I had a double-helping of home-made spatzle (OMG delicious) and a decent portion of turkey stuffing at Christmas dinner, but I SO enjoyed it. Life is short, right? (And yes, I’m incredibly thankful that I’m not celiac, so that I can do things like off-roading when I feel irresponsible.)

        At the end of it all, I figure that what’s done is done now, and stressing over it will only add to the harm. If I can learn from my mistakes going forward, I win. Even if my face looks rather pizza-ish at the moment. >X|

        Nothing better than waking up to a post-Christmas, gluten/sugar-bomb-free breakfast of eggs fried in pastured bacon grease, and spicy chicken sausages–no fiber-enriched multigrain toast for me today!

  17. Lydia says

    Thanks for putting this out there Robb. A unified place to complain and see in writing the torture we have put our bodies through. I am embarrassed to even think about the abuse I have subjected myself to this past last month. ( Yes, a month of carelessness) I know better but the addiction is strong.
    I am back on my the bus (with wheels) geting my WOD on and eating bacon and squash and eggs again. I admit it takes some getting used to I like to think of it as reformatting the taste buds. But its worth it.
    I figure in a week or two the bloat will be gone and the cravings will be ended.

  18. Maggie says

    Um first of all…hilarious. Second of all… I just found out I’m totally gullible. I literally thought that Robb wolf and gang died in a bus crash. Third of all I made it a goal not to indulge this holiday season in crap food and I feel FABULOUS! Probably the first year ever that I have not felt like a blimp. :)

    • says

      I made that decision last year. It was a hard holiday season to get through. This year was a lot easier! I think the first time is the most difficult. It gets better after that. Happy New Year!

      • Maggie says

        Hey Christa,

        It actually was pretty easy this year. Mostly because there were lots of paleo options but also because most of my family knows what I’m trying to accomplish and are being mindful of what they put on the spread. I didn’t even miss anything because I got my fave christmas food of all… LUTEFISK! :)

  19. tess says

    eating ALL our meals out for the last ten days, YES — we ate a lot of stuff we NEVER would have at home. good part is, i made sure i had the important supplements with me, and being in Seafood Heaven we ate lots of it (baked, broiled and raw). bad part — i ate as much carbage per meal as i usually allow myself per DAY. :-( but i ENJOYED myself, and it won’t happen again till next christmas!

  20. Jamie says

    I’m happy to report that I’m still on the paleo bus. I’m new to paleo/gluten-free. Robb’s book has helped me become more dedicated to eating healthy at every meal, every day. Why not?!! It just makes sense. It’s very sad that we have to be taught how to eat in this rich country of ours. I’m so thankful for the guidance of my natural doctor along with a few paleo books. I can’t believe some of the crap I used to eat. Now I don’t even consider it food anymore. Thank heavens, because I would much rather support local farmers than commercial “food” producers.

  21. heidifromoz says

    I’ve probably been running with three wheels since I went Paleo/Primal, i.e., the wine continues, as does the coffee, and some dairy occasionally. Having said that, I have continued my regimen through the holiday period and intend doing so: focus on fresh salads, home made fermented veg and kefir, healthy proteins, plus organic coconut oil. Have had no desire at all to succumb to the typical Christmas fare, since I rarely ate it before changing my diet/lifestyle. Do feel a little tired though but that probably has more to do with our West Australian summer where we have days of 104 plus over several days… Otherwise it’s been very easy to maintain this way of eating.

  22. says

    A few low tires on the bus including 1 macaroon, a bit too much chocolate, 1 piece of carrot cake and a giant glass of eggnog that ran through my digestive system like a spring break hooker! After my romp with the eggnog whore, I dialed the nutrition in hard again….the bus has returned to a highly acceptable EPA status and handles like a fine touring sedan…….smooth. Happy New Year!

  23. Cyndi says

    After a few wheelies and a couple of donuts in the parking lot I’m excited about getting the bus back on track. When I send the kids back to college I will toss the grains and the sugar that has accumulated in my house. My only concern is the tears I will shed when I toss that tray of stuffing. Can’t wait to toss the bloating that comes with all the holiday cheer. Thanks!!!!

  24. Beth says

    Great post! It’s reassuring to see that others have fallen off the wagon to some degree over the holidays. NOW I understand why I’ve been congested and coughing in the mornings! Been waking up with headaches daily as well, and ended up with a cold sore outbreak on Christmas Day, after not having a single one for a few years! I knew that my body was telling me that it wasn’t happy with me. I actually got better as the holidays got closer, less binging, and more conscious decisions to have a little something (a few cookies, some stuffing, etc.). Definitely overdid it on the alcohol though! Not good for someone with leaky gut! Yesterday was the last day off of work, and the last day of family celebrations, so I am more than ready to get back on track 100% now!Paleo Power!

  25. says

    I fell off big time for 2 weeks and I am feeling it bad now. We had a Paleo competition at my crossfit box so I was being even more strict that I normally as and that ended the week before Christmas. I also hurt my neck so I wasn’t really in the cooking mood, and there was junk everywhere. I began falling for the convenience monster and eating some of the things that were available, then I had a couple of holiday parties where I drank way to much, then hangover foods occurred that were not the wisest choices, then I was feeling groggy and lazy and then I played Santa at a work party and everyone was giving me cookies, and I flew off like a mad man.
    Here I am back with my sinus infections that I had been avoiding for so long. Feeling like there is a loaf of bread stuffed between my eye and nose and someone is burning oatmeal for kindling in the back of my throat.
    I am stepping this game up big time with the new year, this is definitely a sure sign to me that the diet works, and not following it is a disaster….

  26. Joey says

    I’m the bus driver who always follows the schedule, doesn’t roll through stop signs or disobey traffic regs. Nice to everyone and proud of my perfect record. (snob) Took the bus to Chinatown on Christmas Eve and was pretty good — I thought. I ate meat and veg and no rice, no egg roll, no fortune cookie! Hit the median, rolled over, in the depot on Christmas with the worst headache I’ve had in years. Put a little premium fuel in and I’m back in service.

  27. Gabby says

    Bloating and farting like a pack mule…..all it takes is a slice of pie, or two or three……breakfast of ham and eggs……

  28. Emily says

    Let’s see…doing pretty well with usual gluten free, sugar free eating UNTIL I ordered delicious, but dangerous fish and chips out at lunch last Friday. My gut has truly not recovered since! A few chocolates and caramels and sugar dusted nuts turned up in my stocking. I’m doling them out slowly and savoring every bite, and continue to eat on track when eating at home. Obstacles are yet to come, restaurant meals for 3 out of the next 6 nights. Fortunately, I can usually do OK at restaurants if I’m careful. The final hurdle is New Year’s Day at friends which may actually be the hardest. I’ll be sure to bring something Paleo I would love to eat. Totally looking forward to getting completely back on track in 2013. My gut will thank me, too!

  29. DameLiberty says

    Well, my bus was doing fine until we ran over a gluten free sugar bomb of a chocolate chip cookie. Next thing we know, it’s a f**ing mine field. Then, the air raid sirens kicked in as water balloons filled with egg nog rained down on our weakened bodies. Everyone running from the bus, scattered out among the bunkers, up to their knees in muddy chocolate mousse. It’s been exhilerating and terrifying all at the same time. But, now we’ve been transferred to a facility where the doors are now locked to the den of iniquity. We shall recover from the Battle of the Neolithic 2012.

  30. Kayla G says

    My wheels have been loose for probably the past week. However, compared to my diet and eating habits last Christmas, I am pretty proud from where I have come. I stayed on track as much as possible while still sneaking in dessert at the Christmas parties or having a crescent roll with dinner. I don’t feel physically horrible right now (just mentally beating myself up) but I will feel it once I get into the box tonight… 102 wall ball shots and 102 burpees, gasping for breath, will quickly tell me that I need to get back on track.

  31. Anna says

    I did fine, maybe if you don’t have diabetes like I do then it doesn’t seem so bad to take an occasional detour now and then, but the consequences would eventually be deadly for me, so the motivation is definitely there. I didn’t do so well shielding my baby from all the wheat flour, sugar and other crap thrown her way by loving grandparents and other family members. So sad.

  32. says

    OMG… this could not be any more timely. I feel perfectly AWFUL. I ache absolutely everywhere, to the point where I am using Motrin for the body pain. I am bloated and have no energy. But, the worst thing is that I feel as though someone backed a cement truck up to and filled my colon with cement… and it’s set.

    I an frying up a big batch of bacon and eggs as we speak. I’m done with Christmas goodies!!!

  33. Shannon says

    I found out last week that I was losing my job in six months (contract loss). Not only did the wheels fall off my bus, I think the transmission dropped, as well.

    It started the night I found out about the loss of the contract. Two cheddar biscuits at a restaurant and shrimp drenched in butter led to a week of consuming lasagna, pizza, breadsticks, cookies…well, the list is impressive. I pushed the dairy allergy to the limit (thank the gods I’m not anaphalactic on that allergy!), consumed more grain in a week than I have in a very long time, and did it with a “F^%k it, it’s that kind of week” attitude.

    And I paid for it. My abdomen is constantly aching. My sinuses are killing me! I actually had to break down and take a Tylenol yesterday (just one) because I couldn’t get rid of the headache myself. And I have the attention span of a toddler. (I swear by the end of last week, I was like a fart in a whirlwind!)

    Then Christmas hit.

    And I was smart.

    I took the same tactic that I used to keep Thanksgiving as Paleo as possible. Everyone came to my house.

    And I cooked!

    My stuffing was made with Paleo Almond Butter bread, and while we did use brown sugar for the sweet potato sauce, it was organic brown sugar with as little processing as possible. The fudge was made with coconut milk and maple syrup. I even made Paleo desserts. I also didn’t eat the broccoli and cheese or mac ‘n’ cheese my family brought (they understood).

    So my leftovers are safe for me to use to get back on the Paleo track. In fact, I might just make an omelet with some onions, eggs, and the leftover ham tonight for dinner…

  34. says

    Hilarious… but really… not really. I’m with JoeC, I don’t need a new year’s resolution. I guess I just needed a reason to remember how crappy I feel.

  35. Elenor says

    Good reminders! I was dreading the ‘cold’ I was SURE I could feel coming on — bit of coughing, bit of headache, bunch of body aches… (Oh dear. And I have an 8-hr-plane flight in two weeks…) But no — turns out, after a day or so of ‘straight-and-narrow’ (well, meat-and-no-grain…) — it was just my own ‘detour’ from the bus lane! Mostly I was pretty well behaved. Skipped the bread and the stuffing and the brownies. I DID indulge in the Grand Marnier souffle… but it was just one and little! Back to the salt mines everyone! Cause salt is good for you! {wink}

  36. Adam says

    I know my health has been paying for it a little, but the wheels coming off the bus sometimes is not such a bad thing. Back on the wagon come the 1st.

  37. Jamie C. says

    3rd day with a nasty cold, fever, topped with not sleeping well. Thank you delicious chocolates, pita chips, wine, and cookies… Maybe with peanut butter. And to think, 2 weeks ago I was bragging about how I never get sick.

  38. Pat the nurse says

    N^a-U~s%E+a, where sis that come from? No cookies or eggnog. No cream soups or fried food. Did really well until I ate one truffle, barley malt. Oh poop!, is nothing safe? I don’t think the wheels came off, but a nut was loosened.

  39. Djae says

    So glad I’m not alone. The wheels on my bus started loosening at Thanksgiving and by Christmas I had been thrown from the bus completely and it is nowhere in sight. l have felt tired and lethargic, not motivated to do much of anything. I am back on paleo today, with a renewed commitment to keep sugar out of my mouth. I allowed myself to have it way too often this past year, and my sugar binge this December has reminded me what a bad idea that is. I feel so much better when i do what I’m supposed to do!

  40. Christian D says

    Committed to Gluten free at all costs. Over did the dairy and sugar. Come 1 jan I will be refocusing all efforts again and returning to top health.

  41. Francesco D. says

    Wow, good reminder.
    I ate lot of non paleo food this year, and this was my second Xmas after adopting a paleo lifestyle… I had hoped I could manage better, but the food was basically slammed on my face. And now, I feel sick, stomach pain, headache and insomnia, mostly. Funny enough I am having some sensations I thought were psychological, but I reckon now they may be simply connected to nutrition. (at least I learned something)

  42. says

    I’m in the carbtastic scrap yard! Motivation to eat well and go to crossfit seriously lacking. The only amrap I’m doing is the first layer of Belgian chocolate biscuits #hardcore

  43. LauraPh2009 says

    I have to say that this has been the best holiday season for me. I made some choices so feelings would not be hurt… Mom made a “gluten-free cheesecake” and was so proud of it. It was delicious, but the dairy and sugar had me a bit bloated afterwards. My only transgression was really alcohol, but even then I drank a few and stopped, instead of getting sloppy drunk like in years past. :)

  44. Mia says

    Well the wheels fell off the bus, so did the mirrors, steering wheel, bumpers,doors… only thing left is the horn. And although I heard it honking it didn’t help me avoid this self induced carb coma… I was only 2 weeks into Paleo when the Christmas desserts started to pour into my department. Needless to say I feel like crap and would prefer jogging pants to the cute jeans I was rocking thanks to paleo. I am totally disgusted that I allowed myself to fall back into such an unhealthy lifestyle so quickly. I’m so much stronger than this! I’m not waiting for the new year. My bus is in the shop I will be picking it up tomorrow!!!!

  45. Vida says

    I was holding strong, even brought veggie stir-fry to holiday parties. When out of nowhere – a German crunchy-crust stollen (a fruit cake, who would expect) sabotaged me unexpectedly. My digestive system rebelled and a epic migraine followed. The German stollen is the devil. And the prehistoric lizard part of my brain took over. I now will be ready for battle.

  46. Alan K says

    Yup, took a total nose dive without even really thinking about it. Started back on the path yesterday and did my first lifting session today. It hurt, and the trainer could tell a mile away that I’d spent a week on the cheese board.

    I think it’s best just to laugh it off and move on, kind of like tripping up on a busy street.

  47. mister worms says

    I managed to lose a few pounds but I feel like junk otherwise… thanks to all of the junk I’ve been consuming over the holidays. I don’t partake in alcohol because it doesn’t appeal to me at all, but too much sugar and carbage leaves me with a hangover in the morning just the same. I’m looking forward to a fresh start in January and truly appreciate the difference in my health when I am eating well.

  48. Ryan says

    I’m “lucky” enough to have a brother-in-law who is type-1 diabetic, so the dinner (and especially dessert) line-up is tailored to his needs … However, although respected by my entire family (as much as anyone can respect a lunatic) my 2+ year Paleo “whim” faces potential “bumps and bruises” every time we get the family together for a meal ….

    This year, after I ran around town on Christmas Eve morning to find fructose, sugar-free dark chocolate and vanilla ice cream for some homemade brownies and ice cream dessert, I decided that I wasn’t going to go without sweets this year … I swapped out the fructose with some raw cane sugar, switched the wheat flour for almond meal, added in an extra egg and “splurged” on the pure cocoa powder to make the best-damn-brownies I’ve tasted in a long time!

    I’ve reached the point where the cheats are less tempting and the challenge of finding a better option makes it that much more rewarding … Now a month into my third year of paleo … things are still going well!

  49. Hans says

    Ha! Wife and I had a totally paleo Thanksgiving, Christmas dinner AND brought in the New Year totally paleo.

    Suck it, bitches! 😀

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