December 26, 2012 – BREAKING NEWS!!
There are reports coming from all areas of the country regarding what seems to be a ‘bus accident epidemic’. It appears that the wheels of a select fleet of ‘Paleo Buses’ have simply been ‘falling off’ over the past several weeks. No fatalities have been reported, but there are reports of injuries…
It’s the day after Christmas and it’s fairly safe to say that a good lot of the ‘paleo bus fleet’ is, or has been cruising without wheels through this holiday season. The past few weeks have been a fast and furious food frenzy – out of control. And today you’re waking up realizing that your wheels have just completely fallen off (you can put down that cookie now…) You’re starting to feel the bumper drag, the brakes are completely shot and turning this beast around seems all but impossible. Right now you’re injured and feeling the aftermath of the gluten, sugar and alcohol crash that last few weeks have been leading up to.
I received this email from one of my former clients – we’re going to call him ‘Russ’ (because that’s his name…). Here’s what Russ had to say:
“OK, so you know that, not withstanding all your good efforts, counsel and expertise, there are massive numbers of non-celiacs like me who are f-ing up big time, temporarily ruining our health, but also loving these couple of weeks where the wheels just fly off the bus. Why don’t you consider having some fun with it and seek input on how people feel off-Paleo? For instance, I feel like someone crammed oatmeal up my nose; I’m coughing like Doc Holiday and looking to use that $10 off card that came in the Victoria Secrets catalog yesterday for a training bra…”
-Roughed-Up Accident Victim Russ
Thanks to Russ, you’re all going to get a chance to sound off on the condition of your ‘bus wheels’. Are they intact, loose, or completely missing? Tell us how you feel, see how your fellow accident victims are holding up and maybe enjoy a little free entertainment.
Whatever you do – turn the bus around! Wheels can be replaced but a brand new bus isn’t an option. Take care of the one you’ve got and bring in the New Year ready to roll.